The Starving Artist

The title "Starving Artist" is one that has been around for thousands of years. It is a title that is thrown around haphazardly without really understanding what the definition is so let's break it down.

starved  starv·ing - intransitive verb

1a: to perish from lack of food b: to suffer extreme hunger

2a archaic: to die of cold b.British: to suffer greatly from cold

3:  to suffer or b.perish from deprivation

Artist - noun

1a: obsolete: one skilled or versed in learned arts b. archaic: physician c. artisan 1

2a: one who professes and practices an imaginitive art b. a person skilled in one of the fine arts

3:  a skilled performer; especially: artiste

4: one who is adapt at something artist

The definition of starving is pretty spot on. The definition of an artist on the other hand is a little more complex. Some things can't be explained by definition, so it takes the experience of different journeys to understand what it truly means to be defined as "One who Suffers, with great Skills". It comes as no surprise that in the creative thought process, logic doesn't often apply, humanity doesn't usually apply, humility almost always applies. The creative mind is always creating it's own existence following through with works that flow from within.

The trend that we've seen in regards to artists for thousands of years is that they are crazy or tormented in some way. We've watched creative people from all realms often die at their own hands due to the constant stigma and expectations set by the "greater society". Artists are conditioned to believe there is something wrong with them because of the burning desire to bring what's in their heart to life. They starve because they don't know any better; they starve because they listen to voices outside of themselves that hold no relevance in their existence. We (artists) have been caught in this web for a very long time and it's very difficult to get out once you've been wrapped in it's lies.

The term "Starving Artist" resonates with me, because as a fairly new full time artist I see how someone else can look into my lifestyle and believe that I would fall under that title. I am not financially rich nor am I seeking to get rich from what I create. It is not at all about what I can gain in creating art, it's about what I can give back in light of what has been given to me. I am not financially poor either because believe it or not the universe sees fit to take care of me through my creations. When I create, it comes from a deeper place and grows abundantly in blessings so long as I don't try to control my creative process.I did not choose art, art chose me. This is why I feel so compelled to create in the moment. No matter what the outcome is I allow myself to be a vessel. I think of the artists that came before me who acquired fame after their deaths. While fame is not my goal on this artistic journey, I don't want to become an after thought or another "starving artist". That is why I gravitate toward painting the human body, there is just something about seeing transformation in action. The art that I help to create is alive and thriving. Watching art move forces you to appreciate it in a greater manner.  When I first started body painting publicly the stops, stares, questions and overall interest was sparked. This was an exhilarating feeling for me, because it allowed me to see the kind of appreciation people actually showed for art. The Body Painting process is both really physical and spiritual so it requires a lot of energy from both the artist and model. Standard canvas is much different because all of your energy is going into one place and time is not always of the essence. Body painting requires a very high level of awareness as your canvas requires regular attention and frequent stretch breaks. Though I enjoy both forms of painting, I thrive off of the challenge of Body Painting more because I am very in tune with that creative energy.

"Starrvin' Artist is not just a brand...  SA is a lifestlye where art is life, and hunger breeds passion. A Starrvin' Artist is someone so in tuned with their passion, trade, or hussle that not a single day goes by that their "art" isn't created. This is my art." This is a quote from https://www.starrvinartist.com/ which is an actual brand. I chose it because this gets to the point of the Starving Artists lifestyle; this is the definition I prefer if one must refer to me as a starving artist. This is a passion from within, and no matter what the situation may be it must come out. I believe that if you are hungry for something you must be clear on what that hunger is and feed it. One cannot actually starve if he/she ingests the nourishment that is meant to sustain them. I personally will never refer to myself or any working artist as a starving artist, I prefer thriving because that is what we truly are.

"Creative energy doesn't have to worry about how it's going to survive; it only has to create to survive."

~ My brother: Brian T. Cobb

Creativity takes courage - Henry Matisse

Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find their way by moonlight, and their punishment is that they see the dawn before the rest of the world - Oscar Wilde

Nola - Why I Love This Damn City So Much!

The first time I visited New Orleans in 2013 I was excited, nervous and so ready to explore. I had traveled there for the Essence Festival. We stayed in an apartment on Burgundy Street (pronounced Bur-GUN-dee) which is part of the French Quarter. I had gotten so many mixed messages about the city but really just wanted to experience it for myself. I was there for Essence Fest but to be honest I was far more excited about visiting "The Craig Tracy Gallery" on Royal. We spent Four days and Three nights and I fell in love with the city that is affectionately known as Nola.

I've returned twice since then for an annual body art convention called LaFete and of course a little quality time. I can honestly say it is one of my favorite places to visit. The streets of the French quarter are ever flowing with art, music, live performances, the aroma of Cajun cooking and some not so pleasant odors as well. From North Rampart to Decatur there is a little something for everyone to see, hear, touch and taste. My personal favorite places to roam are Royal Street where most of the art galleries reside; Jackson Square where live art and performances happen; and Frenchman Street where the locals go to party. I could spend all day at any of these places just soaking it all up.

If you're a foodie you will almost definitely find a favorite dish or two. Beignets, po boy sandwiches, fried alligator, crawfish etouffee, gumbo, jambalaya, red beans and rice and muffalettas are just a few traditional New Orleans dishes I encourage you to try. If you like to partake in beverages which contain alcohol there is no shortage in New Orleans. You can in fact purchase alcohol just about everywhere including pharmacies and corner stores. In the French quarter, Bourbon Street is filled with bars of all sorts serving up whatever you want to drink.

No (real) flashing or any of that jazz typically happens during this family friendly parade but the ladies can still earn lots of beads! With a little Irish luck and simply standing pretty, I walked away with close to 30 new beaded necklaces to add to my collection. This is not a city for the faint of heart and broken spirited. It has a very rich but dark history and is said to be one of the most haunted cities in the United States. From fires to torture chambers and tales of voodoo you can feel the energies the moment you step off of the plane. New Orleans; one of the places I feel most inspired as an artist. It's full of wonder and mystery; I've never been to a place with so much presence for the arts. The French quarter is like an artist's mind turned inside out; colorful, provocative a little twisted but mostly magical. These are the reasons that I love this city so damn much!

From street to street there is always something new to see, and so much to do. It's the kind of place that you should experience at least once in your lifetime. Maybe you'll fall in love, maybe you won't. One thing is for certain, Nola will leave a lasting impression on anyone who stays even if only for a little while.

Some of my favorite places, performances and things in New Orleans:

Street Performers: Tanya & Dorise

Cheap but good eats: Verti Marte

Beignets: Cafe Du Monde

Art Galleries: Craig Tracy Gallery, The Tresor Gallery, Black Heritage Gallery

Hurricanes/Drinks: Pat O'brien's

Places: Audubon Insectarium, Jackson Square

For a cool article on must do's in NOLA click here

My Motivation

What truly motivates a person to do something? With all of life’s distractions and curve balls constantly thrown, how does anyone stay focused and motivated on the goals they have set in their life? Well, for me it’s pretty simple. The moment I held my first child in my arms a little over 18 years ago I knew my life would be changed forever. She was a bundle of joy, and I was a new mom; not really understanding of motherhood.

I didn’t know then, but I would soon figure out that the motivation to see my child grow up happy was my drive. No matter what I lost in the process, she had to grow up better than I felt I had. Three short years after she came into the world my little man was born. It seemed as if the load doubled so I had to try twice as hard to make the lives of my children better than I thought my life was growing up.

This is the foundation for my motivation; My Children. I want them to see an example of what it's like to pursue your passion. The highs and the lows are very real and necessary for them to see. My hope is that they will never become complacent with what is expected of them by society. I want them to see beyond the box that they might be placed in by the people around them; including me at times.

I have a tremendous amount of family support that has kept me going for many years that is the backbone of how I remain driven. Family provides your connection into this world, it is in family that I find my fuel. If it were not for their support, I probably wouldn’t have much to build on. The motivation of my creative side and giving back through art is my ancestors. Many people don’t know how to grasp onto the concept of being used from higher plateaus.

If not for my ancestors bringing me visions in dreams and other methods my creations wouldn’t be what they are. I often tell people that I can feel them around me pushing me to keep going because they didn't have the opportunities to. Experiencing loss and having the support of others I've met through the community and just life in general has given me the courage to step outside of the box I had been in for so long. I've grown within the last 6-7 years to understand my purpose in this world, which has given me the drive and motivation to keep moving forward. So there you have it: My foundation, backbone, and the soul of what motivates me.

Never Done Exhibit

I have been thinking about certain aspects of my artistic journey, the people, places, and things have had the largest impact on my career thus far. Some of my work is currently being featured in a group show at City Lights Gallery in Bridgeport, CT.  “Never Done" is a show exploring "Manifestations of the Beauty, Inspiration and Constant Strength of Black Women". The saying reminds us that “Women’s work is never done”. The work to love, fight for social justice, actualize spiritual building and leadership, to nurture our families and create joy is never done."
Being part of this show is a great experience for me because it allows me the freedom to visually show the struggles and strengths of a woman’s work. Although the exhibit is geared towards black woman; I think all women are included. I myself am Bi-Racial so seeing things from different angles is helpful. Sometimes it is hard to verbally express as a woman how it feels to constantly be in motion, so we very often have to find creative ways to express ourselves; using art as a way to break barriers.

In my journey I've learned about some of the women in my bloodline who were pioneers in their own right. They may have very well been artists, writers, scientists, doctors, lawyers but they weren't. To be honest, the women who came before me were survivors. Most were not afforded the opportunity to follow dreams or passions. They were assigned the strict role of slaves, maids, nurturers, birth givers, mothers, mistresses and wives which is fine if they selected those roles themselves. Having the ability to choose their own paths wasn't realistic or permitted.

In a sense, I feel that I have a responsibility to follow through with the things they couldn't. That is the reason I pursue passion through art. To honor the memories of the women who's hands bled while preparing food for a family of 16. For the ones who were violated and forced to give of themselves so freely. For the ones who secretly sat under the light of the moon teaching themselves to read so that one day they could teach their own children. For the ones who birthed entire communities of babies as mid-wives and never received a proper thank you. These are the women that I will continue to honor through my art; through my life. Please remember to always honor those who came before you; because of them, we can.

There are some really amazing artists featured in this show so being among them is an absolute honor. Please take some time to go to their web sites, read about them and even buy some art if you see something that moves you. "Never Done" will run until March 25, 2016. Join us for an artist talk at City Lights Gallery on Thursday, March 24 from 5:30 PM to 8:00 PM.

Jahmane Arts

Adger Cowans

Alicia Cobb

Janelle Gordon

Jefferine Jean-Jacques

Iyaba Ibo Mandingo

Olivier Kpognon

Shanna Melton

Also featured is the fabric art by Bridgeport's Gees Bend quilters: Eula Mosley, Sandra Pettway, Rosie Pettway, Betty Bendolph, Lucy Pettway Joanna Pettway, Mary Bendolph.

My Creative Process

It's top secret, and I am not willing to share it with anyone who doesn't sign an agreement to pay me a million dollars! I'm just joking of course; in truth, it's kind of hard to describe my creative process because it is constantly changing. When I was a child I would get crayons and draw the same picture over and over again; until everything looked exactly as it did in my head. It was usually a drawing of my family with big round heads, no necks and twigs for extremities. There was a house with a door and four windows, a tree right next to it and a giant rainbow hovering over us. This was a very natural process for me and I thoroughly enjoyed being in the same space as creation, this was how I imagined my world to be.

When I was seven my parents separated and eventually divorced. This was when I turned to art for comfort because it was the one thing I knew would never leave me. The reality of divorce weighed heavy on my brothers and I and I knew my life would never be the same. Life seemed complicated and I went into survival mode. I eventually became a perfectionist trying to control every thing I created even in my art and writing. I remember writing a rough draft on yellow paper several times before I handed it in to the teacher. When she gave it back with corrections marked in red it would upset me to the point of tears at times. I would then re-write the rough draft to yellow paper again so I could transfer to my final draft without having to look at red marks. It was a pretty daunting process for a child of seven or eight years old. This way of living took over and ran my life well into my twenties. It showed up in my marriage, the rearing of my children, my work, my non social life and eventually was part of the demise of my marriage.

For ten years of my life I had totally given up on art and everything affiliated with it to be mom, wife, responsible citizen of society. Being an artist wasn't acceptable on any front. How would I take care of my family? I would "starve" because that's what I was taught. During my divorce I remembered what art did for me as a child and naturally I decided to try it again to see if it would help; it did. Art showed up for me even after I had abandoned it for so long. It became a part of my daily therapy and flowed naturally just as it did when I was seven years old. It showed up in the form of poetry, paint and sketching and I began to fall in love all over again with my first love...ART. That was nearly ten years ago.

I recently took an online quiz to evaluate scientifically what percentage of my brain is right and what percentage is left. Now I don't take this stuff literally but I do find it very entertaining. The quiz results were just as I suspected. I was a whopping 84% right brained and a measly 16% left brained. As you can see from the diagram above it's pretty colorful in the right side of the world. I used to be very analytical and had a hard time embracing my natural strengths. I was self conscious and controlling, worried that my work wasn't good enough and constantly compared it to that of other artists. Like most people, I was just trying to be the person society made me believe I needed to be.

My creative process is nowhere near that strenuous anymore. These days I actually find my inspiration through different sources. Images that I am most driven to create usually come in the form of a vision or a dream. Then there are those that I sketch based off an experience or something that I've seen physically. I no longer try to control what I create which has made the process of being an artist truly enjoyable. This doesn't mean that I don't run into any difficulties, it simply means that the natural approach makes things run a little smoother and I'm not hiding in a corner stewing over red penned corrections on my yellow rough draft. I show up to create and I trust that whatever is meant to come to fruition will.

For a cool online version of the brain quiz Click here